We started eating chocolate at 9am.... because... well, why not!??!? Happy Hearts Day!
XO
Abby & Stella
Friday, February 14, 2014
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Thoughts on Motherhood
I have been struggling with this blog as you have probably noticed. I have SO many words trapped in my brain... So many reflections, struggles, thoughts... and yet NO time to do it. It almost seems like I have SO MUCH to catch up on that I can get paralyzed and just don't post at all. But writing is therapeutic for me so this afternoon I decided I would get some thoughts down on paper and see how it felt. So here we go!
Motherhood did not come naturally to me.
I think my friends and definitely my parents would correct me on this and say "YES! You are a natural! You are a GREAT MOM!" The thing is, I know am a good Mom. But it wasn't something that clicked for me, especially at the beginning. You hear stories about how you see your baby for the first time and everything changes and you have never loved something or someone as much as you do in that moment.... Well call it the hormones or my traumatic birth experience, but the beginning months were rough on me. This baby turned our life upside down and it took time for me to get to know her. She was a perfect stranger to me. She couldn't play, interact, and didn't have a personality really at all. I found myself feeling guilty that I was so bored with her. I could only read baby books for so long or stare at her on the play mat before I felt stupid... It just didn't come natural to me. I felt like I was forcing it or even at times, faking it. I carted her around and sure, I thought she was ADORABLE and loved dressing her up, but for me, my goal each day was to feed her and try to stop her from crying. I started feeling the "Mommy guilt" because I didn't have this grand attachment to her like I thought I would. I also didn't feel any different as a person. I thought I would morph into a "Mom" and somehow feel like more of a woman after having a baby...but I was still ME... with a cute pet.
But around 8 months, I started to turn a corner. I noticed a little spunk emerging from Stella. She started turning from my cute accessory, to my silly sidekick. I started calling our outings "Adventures" even if we were just going to the grocery store. She LOVED riding in the shopping carts and taking it all in and my heart started to swell as I watched her learn new things and take in the world around her. She started crawling. Babbling. Flirting with strangers. BELLY laughing. And WALKING. And NOW I can't get enough of her.
I have been told that some people are "Baby Moms" and others are "Toddler Moms." I think it is safe to say that I am not particularly a "Baby Mom." In fact, I am in no rush to have another one (Lord willing) because I shudder to think of going through all of that again.... I am fully content and present and LOVING where we are at right now in toddler-hood. Stella may not be able to really talk to me, but she can communicate. She has started walking over to me and lifting her arms up. And I know she is reaching up for ME.... because I am her MOM and she LOVES me. There is no better feeling in the world.
So in case anyone still reads this dusty old blog and has struggled with any of these same sort of thoughts, but has been too embarassed or nervous to share them, know that I have NO idea if we are normal or not...BUT there is someone else out there in the world who has felt the exact same way. If you are struggling and have a newborn - SOAK up the snuggles and enjoy the fact that you can actually get stuff done without cleaning up every 30 minutes .... AND KNOW, it is only a phase and they will be 1 before you know it!
That's all I have for today...but it felt nice to share. Thanks for reading!
Motherhood did not come naturally to me.
I think my friends and definitely my parents would correct me on this and say "YES! You are a natural! You are a GREAT MOM!" The thing is, I know am a good Mom. But it wasn't something that clicked for me, especially at the beginning. You hear stories about how you see your baby for the first time and everything changes and you have never loved something or someone as much as you do in that moment.... Well call it the hormones or my traumatic birth experience, but the beginning months were rough on me. This baby turned our life upside down and it took time for me to get to know her. She was a perfect stranger to me. She couldn't play, interact, and didn't have a personality really at all. I found myself feeling guilty that I was so bored with her. I could only read baby books for so long or stare at her on the play mat before I felt stupid... It just didn't come natural to me. I felt like I was forcing it or even at times, faking it. I carted her around and sure, I thought she was ADORABLE and loved dressing her up, but for me, my goal each day was to feed her and try to stop her from crying. I started feeling the "Mommy guilt" because I didn't have this grand attachment to her like I thought I would. I also didn't feel any different as a person. I thought I would morph into a "Mom" and somehow feel like more of a woman after having a baby...but I was still ME... with a cute pet.
But around 8 months, I started to turn a corner. I noticed a little spunk emerging from Stella. She started turning from my cute accessory, to my silly sidekick. I started calling our outings "Adventures" even if we were just going to the grocery store. She LOVED riding in the shopping carts and taking it all in and my heart started to swell as I watched her learn new things and take in the world around her. She started crawling. Babbling. Flirting with strangers. BELLY laughing. And WALKING. And NOW I can't get enough of her.
I have been told that some people are "Baby Moms" and others are "Toddler Moms." I think it is safe to say that I am not particularly a "Baby Mom." In fact, I am in no rush to have another one (Lord willing) because I shudder to think of going through all of that again.... I am fully content and present and LOVING where we are at right now in toddler-hood. Stella may not be able to really talk to me, but she can communicate. She has started walking over to me and lifting her arms up. And I know she is reaching up for ME.... because I am her MOM and she LOVES me. There is no better feeling in the world.
So in case anyone still reads this dusty old blog and has struggled with any of these same sort of thoughts, but has been too embarassed or nervous to share them, know that I have NO idea if we are normal or not...BUT there is someone else out there in the world who has felt the exact same way. If you are struggling and have a newborn - SOAK up the snuggles and enjoy the fact that you can actually get stuff done without cleaning up every 30 minutes .... AND KNOW, it is only a phase and they will be 1 before you know it!
That's all I have for today...but it felt nice to share. Thanks for reading!
Monday, February 3, 2014
Stella Rose: 1 Year OLD!!!
I am a few weeks late, but on January 19th our little Stella Bug turned 1!!! We are now DONE with the monthly stickers (thank goodness!) and pictures :) And I now officially have a TODDLER!!!
What is she up to THESE DAYS?!?!?
Well about 1 week before her 1st birthday she started taking STEPS and it was so cute and exciting! I am thrilled she did not decide to do this while I was out of town in Nashville... My heart would have exploded and I might have had to come back early!
She is EVERYWHERE! She wants to walk (it looks like a cute little penguin waddle) and remove everything from every flat surface she can reach. She loves to take books off the shelves and food off her plate. I am hoping this is a phase as I'd love to have a dog for the sheer clean up aspect ha! I have also noticed that recently she really does seem to be PLAYING with other kids which is just fun to watch - Talking in baby talk, laughing, smiling, and following other kiddos around. This was a BIG milestone and made me really proud. Our little social butterfly ;) She doesn't stand a chance on being shy with Logan and myself as parents haha! She also has enough HAIR to have some GREAT BED HEAD!!!
Eating: We are still on 6oz of formula every 4ish hours throughout the day but have started mixing it with whole milk and weaning her off the bottle. This is a SLOW process as she can't really figure out the sippy cup- She either have to suck too hard and gets frustrated or she gets it ALL over the place because it comes out too fast! She is also up for trying ANY food item but again... most of it ends up in her chair or on the floor so we aren't sure how much she's actually eating. She DOES love sliders, fried rice, and cupcakes though.... She is her mother's daughter for sure!
Sleeping: She goes down consistently around 8:15pm every night and wakes up around 7:15am every morning. She always takes a solid nap in the mornings which is when I work (from 9-10:30ish) and in the afternoons we are hit or miss but more often than not, a nap between 2-4pm. She has recently started to "talk" and hug her stuffed animals in the mornings. It is adorable and makes waking up at 7:!5 bearable.
Teeth: You FINALLY have your top 2 starting to peek through. One I can see and the other one is just about to escape. I am ready for those suckers to come out and play! I feel like we've been teething for months without any progress!
Words: Mama, Dada, Papa, Baby, and ASHES of all things?!?! You picked this up from Ring-Around-The-Rosie... Not an easy word and a VERY random one at that!
MUSIC: You LOVE to dance these days! You are starting to be more intriqued with the TV (We love Sprout) and anytime the songs come on you sway your arms back and forth and shake your hips side to side. You are also completely awe-struck when your Daddy plays the guitar for you. I think you may have music in your future...
Stella had her first (DOUBLE) ear infection over the holidays and then this past week battled a stomach bug with me... We think it may have been the stomach flu. We are happy that one is behind us because last week was NO FUN! I am ready for warmer weather and for cold & flu season to be behind us!
This morning, we had her 1 year appointment and things look great! She is healthy as can be but neither of us were prepared for the 4 shots and 2 blood draws.... It.WAS.BRUTAL. So we had cupcakes for lunch to make up for it ha! (You think I'm kidding....)
Stats:
Weight - 23 pounds 3 oz (90%)
Length - 30 1/2 inches (92%)
Head - 18 1/4 inches (86%)
Here are a few pics over her first holiday season - Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years Eve in Houston with ALL your cousins in from ALL OVER THE WORLD!!! AND 2 birthday parties!!! One with your cousin Jude and one on your actual birthday :) You have been BUSY girl!
What is she up to THESE DAYS?!?!?
Well about 1 week before her 1st birthday she started taking STEPS and it was so cute and exciting! I am thrilled she did not decide to do this while I was out of town in Nashville... My heart would have exploded and I might have had to come back early!
She is EVERYWHERE! She wants to walk (it looks like a cute little penguin waddle) and remove everything from every flat surface she can reach. She loves to take books off the shelves and food off her plate. I am hoping this is a phase as I'd love to have a dog for the sheer clean up aspect ha! I have also noticed that recently she really does seem to be PLAYING with other kids which is just fun to watch - Talking in baby talk, laughing, smiling, and following other kiddos around. This was a BIG milestone and made me really proud. Our little social butterfly ;) She doesn't stand a chance on being shy with Logan and myself as parents haha! She also has enough HAIR to have some GREAT BED HEAD!!!
Eating: We are still on 6oz of formula every 4ish hours throughout the day but have started mixing it with whole milk and weaning her off the bottle. This is a SLOW process as she can't really figure out the sippy cup- She either have to suck too hard and gets frustrated or she gets it ALL over the place because it comes out too fast! She is also up for trying ANY food item but again... most of it ends up in her chair or on the floor so we aren't sure how much she's actually eating. She DOES love sliders, fried rice, and cupcakes though.... She is her mother's daughter for sure!
Sleeping: She goes down consistently around 8:15pm every night and wakes up around 7:15am every morning. She always takes a solid nap in the mornings which is when I work (from 9-10:30ish) and in the afternoons we are hit or miss but more often than not, a nap between 2-4pm. She has recently started to "talk" and hug her stuffed animals in the mornings. It is adorable and makes waking up at 7:!5 bearable.
Teeth: You FINALLY have your top 2 starting to peek through. One I can see and the other one is just about to escape. I am ready for those suckers to come out and play! I feel like we've been teething for months without any progress!
Words: Mama, Dada, Papa, Baby, and ASHES of all things?!?! You picked this up from Ring-Around-The-Rosie... Not an easy word and a VERY random one at that!
MUSIC: You LOVE to dance these days! You are starting to be more intriqued with the TV (We love Sprout) and anytime the songs come on you sway your arms back and forth and shake your hips side to side. You are also completely awe-struck when your Daddy plays the guitar for you. I think you may have music in your future...
Stella had her first (DOUBLE) ear infection over the holidays and then this past week battled a stomach bug with me... We think it may have been the stomach flu. We are happy that one is behind us because last week was NO FUN! I am ready for warmer weather and for cold & flu season to be behind us!
This morning, we had her 1 year appointment and things look great! She is healthy as can be but neither of us were prepared for the 4 shots and 2 blood draws.... It.WAS.BRUTAL. So we had cupcakes for lunch to make up for it ha! (You think I'm kidding....)
Stats:
Weight - 23 pounds 3 oz (90%)
Length - 30 1/2 inches (92%)
Head - 18 1/4 inches (86%)
Here are a few pics over her first holiday season - Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years Eve in Houston with ALL your cousins in from ALL OVER THE WORLD!!! AND 2 birthday parties!!! One with your cousin Jude and one on your actual birthday :) You have been BUSY girl!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
LinkWithin
